O2 Yoga

At this time of year, many of us are coming out of the winter doldrums. Well, at least I am. As you may know, our family unschools which is a way of saying that we educate our children and ourselves through experience. I bring this up because most people have a schedule and structure to their lives that doesn’t take into account the natural rhythm of the body, seasons, and nature. Because my kids don’t go to school and neither my husband nor I have a 9-5 job, we are living with less external structure than most. Even though we have lived like this for sometime, I am still very susceptible to the idea that I should be productive and in a high energy state all the time.

Naps
I have always loved naps. I remember when I was a kid, I would crawl up on the back of the sofa and nap like a cat in the sunshine. When I was in college, my friends always thought I must be sick because I would sleep in the middle of the day. When I start getting cranky and grumpy around 2 one of my kids will usually say, “Mom, you need a nap.” And they are always right! When I was in my 20s and 30s I desperately tried to even out my energy level. I took ginseng, and stopped drinking coffee, and tried all kinds of things to keep myself from hitting that tired state during the day. It never worked. I have finally come to accept that this IS my natural state. We are constantly being told by advertising and media that we should feel great all the time and should never be tired. The reality is that our energy, just like the seasons, ebbs and flows. It is not supposed to be constant and steady.

Productivity
The same goes for being productive, creative, happy, focused, constructive. All of these qualities are not nor should not be constant. They need to be in balance with their counterparts. In yogic philosophy, there is a concept called Avidya which translates to clouded thought or mis-perception. Some forms of avidya are, wanting without needing, needing to be right and others wrong, and most pertinent to this discussion, identifying with one’s thoughts and feelings. For example, when we are being productive and feel happy, that means that we are successful. If we are being unproductive and feel unhappy, that must mean that we are failures right? How could the same person be both in a short period of time? The answer is, we can’t. Is a tree a failure because it has lost it’s leaves and is resting? Are dogs unproductive when they sleep during the day? Okay, maybe they are but they don’t care!

Work in Progress
I am a long way away from not identifying with my state of mind. Every winter, I feel cold, lazy and unmotivated for much of the time. Every winter, I think to myself; what is wrong with me? Every spring, I start to feel better and forget that I ever felt the way I did in the winter. Winter is the natural resting cycle in nature and it should also be a resting cycle for us humans. For me, 2pm seems to be the winter of my day, when I need to rest and reset. The key for all of us is to find a balance to our natural tendencies. If you tend towards inertia, you may need to push yourself to be more active. If you tend towards overextending your energy, you may need to be more open and receptive to times of rest. The key is not to NOT have extremes in your life but to learn to balance them with their counterparts.

On my way to teach class last night, I kept thinking this thought; “God it is a beautiful world,” as I gazed at the flowering trees and bright sunshine, listened to the birds, and smelled the spring air. At the same time, I was listening to the news and overwhelmed with the horror, devastation, and fear that is simultaneously everywhere.

This morning I am here in Cambridge listening to sirens, newscasts, and my phone going off constantly with concerned friends and family. I keep thinking; it is a beautiful world, it is a horrible world. There is no making sense of any of it. All we can do is be kind, be generous, share what we have, take care of those who need our help. This isn’t a temporary thing. There is work to be done, every moment of every day. There are vulnerable beings who deserve our protection and our love.

What can we do? Do whatever we can, whenever we can, without hesitation. Many of us were not right in the middle of the action at the finish line. We did not participate in heroic acts. There are a million acts of kindness, generosity, compassion, and love that can be done everyday. I believe that everyone of you make a difference in this world. Sending out my love, respect and hope as far as it will go. Peace, Mimi

Now that the days are a bit longer and the sun seems to be shining more brightly, I feel ready to take on the next phase of O2 Yoga Cambridge. I must admit that last year was both exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. I am not sure my family and I are fully recovered but we are always up for a new challenge. Everyone has been asking, “When is the cafe opening?” Our answer is, “um, soon, very soon.” The truth is, it really is opening soon. We have had quite a few hurdles to jump over, and there are still more in our path, but we feel like the time is right to start. So, although we won’t have an opening date for you in the near future, we will soon. And when we do, we will let you know!!

We are not restaurant people. Oh sure, I worked as a waitress and bartender for many years but I never worked behind the lines so to speak or did ordering or any of that. Luckily, the ever talented Karen has lots of experience and is looking forward to heading up the cafe. (Karen, you make everything seem possible!) That said, the past year has given us the time and the inspiration to take this on. Our vision for O2 Cambridge, is to create a place where people can come and hang out. They will be able to take a class, get a massage, do some shopping, and meet their friends for tea or lunch. This is a place where community is building and the cafe will only expand it.  The momentum has been there for years in Somerville; students pouring out of class chatting and wishing there was some place where they could go sit down, have something to drink or eat and connect more with their O2 friends. Our friends at 3 Little Figs in Somerville say they know when class gets out because they are flooded with smiling relaxed people with yoga mats on their backs!

We are so excited (and of course quite nervous) about finally opening the cafe of our dreams. We have been bringing people together over yummy vegan food for years at our home. My friends have often told me that I should open a vegan cafe, write a cookbook, or both. I would just smile and nod and say, “Yes, with all my free time! I would love to but…” And now, here we are, ready to take it to the next level. That said, we are putting everything we have into this vision of a space where things happen, where relationships are formed, ideas realized, and the world changed because of it. You will see more of my husband, Steven, my kids, Dylan and Deven, and even the dogs, Shanti and Mate’, in the coming months as we start the build-out in the front of the house of O2 Cambridge. If you think the Cambridge studio is already beautifully designed, and most people do, wait until you see what Steven will do with the cafe. Steven drove to RI last weekend and picked up our pastry case! Picture vegan cupcakes, cookies, and other yummy treats. We also have established relationships with new companies, Organic Living Superfoods, and Life Force Juice. (You’ll find Organic Living Superfoods in Cambridge starting this week.)  These guys are local, passionate, and ready for O2. Just writing these words puts butterflies in my stomach. (Do people still say that?) I have always said that the physical experiences of being anxious and excited is exactly the same. It is simply your interpretation of that experience that makes it one or the other. Hmmm, which is it for me, anxious or excited? Honestly, a little, okay, a lot, of both.

What does it take to live life with a sense of integrity? How many choices do we make each and every day which could reflect and support a belief system? More importantly, how many choices do we make each day which we don’t think about? Is it possible to think about everything? Is it advisable or enjoyable to do so? Isn’t it nice sometimes just to do something because it feels good, or is fun, or makes us happy? Do these things need to be mutually exclusive from well-thought out choices? I don’t think so.

Sometimes, I think that I think too much. Oh, the irony of over-thinking over-thinking. I know, this sounds a bit crazy but I am constantly evaluating and re-organizing my choices and thoughts to make sure that they are consistent with a broader view of the world. I have many blind-spots as I would guess we all do. I can be impatient with people who don’t appear to put thought into their actions. That alone is a blind spot.

Getting ready for another teacher training always puts me in a philosophical state of mind. Many teacher training candidates ask me how much yoga philosophy they will learn. I always have a difficult time answering that question. Oh, I could say, we will spend between 5-10 hours discussing the yoga sutras. However, I believe that everyday, every moment is time spent on yoga philosophy, or more broadly, life philosophy. I don’t think the yogis had a monopoly on concepts such as; do unto others as you would have done unto you, or, tell the truth, or do no harm.

Yoga practice is a great place to practice many concepts of yogic philosophy, but outside of class or teacher training is really where the challenge lies. Everyday, we have the opportunity to challenge ourselves to be better, more integrated, more compassionate beings. I had a wonderful conversation with Karen Shanti Caiazzo about her meditation practice and her meditation teacher. She made an excellent point; rather than reading, talking, thinking about being a better meditator, she just gets on her pillow and practices meditation. Shri K Patabhi Jois would say; “yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory.” Some great sage said; “Less talk, more action.” I don’t think I can outthink my mistakes. I need to make them, learn from them, and then try again. Hopefully, those mistakes will teach me something about humility and patience.

There are so many ways to give back to people who you love, who take care of you, who make you happy. We have been going to Maya Tulum for 12 years now. I am a firm believer in giving time, money, energy, and love directly. It is easy and often more convenient to send a check to an organization, yet you don’t always know exactly where it is going. In the years that we have been going to Maya Tulum, we have gotten to know many of the people who work there along with some of their families. They clean the cabanas and yoga rooms, make sure that all the participants have what they need, and most endearingly, take special care of my kids. They know them by name and are often making them special drinks or towel animals or teaching them words in Spanish. Steven and I decided that we wanted to thank them by bringing down gifts for their kids.

The first year, we just brought a few backpacks, toys, and art supplies for a couple families. We then realized that we would like to do this for all of the kids and grand-kids so we asked for help from all the lovely people who were coming down to the retreat. We kept building on this idea until 2011. Last year we brought down 12 laptops to donate to a local Children’s Center in Tulum. This year we went back to the backpacks. There were 58 kids on our list! It took us 2 days to make a backpack for each kid based on age and gender. We took three more trips into town to add supplies for kids that were lacking. We then labeled them, tied together the siblings’ bags and delivered them to the front desk. Special thanks to Elliott, Diana Milan, Carol Ciaravino, Steven, Dylan, Deven, and Lila Miller (Tim Miller’s daughter and good friend of my boys). It was a lot of work but so worth it. Here are some photos from 2011 taken by Jim Martens. I will add lots more of this year and put them up on our Facebook page. Thanks to all of you who brought down things for the kids. They were really thrilled.

2011

You may not know that I have a love affair with the country of Mexico, it’s people, and it’s language. My husband and I have both traveled extensively, Steven more than I, but we both find this place to be where we as a family feel at home. My kids have been coming down here with us every year for their whole lives, and 2 years ago, we traveled through Mexico via RV for four months, dogs and all. Every year that we return we remember why we keep coming back. It is a magical place. Not just the beaches and palm trees but the restaurants, tiny towns, crazy, winding, sometimes washed out roads, concrete water slides, bicycles holding entire families, well you get the picture.

Maya Tulum, where we have been going for 12 years is exceptionally special. We wouldn’t keep coming back if it weren’t. That said, this year, we have been working on another retreat location in addition to Maya Tulum that will be cheaper, and more immersion based. We even found a wonderful Vegan Mexican Restaurant called Siempre Sano. Our hope is to add a second retreat on next year that would include yoga classes (of course), vegan Mexican cooking classes, vegan Mexican meals, Spanish classes, all at a hotelito on the beach with a pool! Intrigued? Me too. I’ll keep you posted.

I am injured. I am not sure exactly how it happened but I am guessing that it was a culmination of events rather than just one. Like the proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back (poor camel), I had one too many small stresses. Being injured can be a time for frustration, resistance, introspection, surrender, or in my case all of these things at varying times. One thing I am learning from this is how to be still. The words of Thich Nhat Hanh keep coming into my head; “Smile, Breath, Go Slowly.” Well, I can breath and go slowly anyway, and why not smile while I am doing it?

I don’t know about you, but for me, when I get injured, I get scared. What if I can’t practice? What if I can’t move? What if this lasts forever? I will become fat and lazy. Fear is not a good emotion to operate under. Fear is what holds me back. Fear is something that many of us face and fight daily. It arises in the media, and in our own heads, and out of friends and family’s mouths. It is not good and is definitely not an emotion that aids in healing.

Rather than ignore and push, as is sometimes my habit, I decided to try a more loving approach. I went to see Thomas, a talented acupuncturist and healer who will be working out of Cambridge O2 this winter. I subbed out one of my classes and slept late. I scheduled a massage with Emily and Sonja, both different but equally gifted body workers. I have been teaching with the help of students and teachers in the room demonstrating for me. I have spent more time playing cards and Legos with my kids, and less time cleaning my house. I feel a stillness coming over me that is less scary and more pleasant. I am unused to feeling so grounded. I am used to flying around doing too many things at the same time. I am a chronic multi-tasker even though I would be better off doing things one at a time.

I am learning how to be present. I am still in pain, yet less fearful than I would be in the past. I trust that my body is asking for something I rarely give it; a rest. I, in turn, trust that it will be good for me not bad. I have a feeling that if I think back to this time of year across many years, I probably experienced some form of rebellion (either from mind or body or both), and some form or request for rest and recovery. For some reason, this year, I am listening.

I sincerely wish you an opportunity to smile, breath, and go slowly. I wish you an opportunity to hear what your body and mind need without fear. And, mostly, I wish you the opportunity for rest, rejuvenation, and loving kindness.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” Thich Nhat Hanh

I have three blogs. It is funny because I always lament the way that we as a culture seem to think that everything needs to be separated out. Take the fitness industry for instance, of which I was a part for many years and in many ways still am. We were always taught that you needed to do your cardio, then your stretching, then some strength building. This of course could take all day which is why so many people don’t do any of it. Not only is this time consuming but it is also scattered energetically. Wouldn’t it be better to integrate it all and be able to just focus on one thing? Hmmm, sounds a little like yoga doesn’t it? When I was a trainer, I would be in the gym 8-10 hours a day. I would end up sneaking off to yoga class just to; one, get out of my work environment, and two, to feel more grounded after a day spent in a cold, loud, and bright space. It never occurred to me that yoga could do all the things I was teaching all day long. In fact, that would have been too good to be true. I was taught from an early age that everything that was worth doing was hard work and most likely unpleasant. If I was having fun, then I wasn’t getting anything done. One day, I started to notice that my body and mind were changing in a way that I had wanted for years. I was pretty surprised. I mean, I had been teaching all these other methods for years but what was working for me was something else entirely. Not only did I enjoy yoga but it was kicking my ass.

I started to dip my toe into these forbidden waters. What if it was possible to be fit, healthy, strong, flexible AND be doing something that I actually enjoyed. Whoa, now this was radical. What if it was possible to integrate all of the supposedly separate fitness methods into one? That would not only be more efficient time wise but would also be more efficient energetically. What if it was possible to change body and mind for the better and have it be a relatively pleasant process??? Now this isn’t to say that I didn’t find yoga challenging. It was very challenging but in an internal way if that makes sense.

So here I am again, spreading myself thin by writing 3 different blogs. One on yoga, one on vegan nutrition, and one on unschooling. Yes, these are 3 distinctly different topics but aren’t they all related? I will say that the philosophy that makes me a vegan, unschooling, yoga teacher is all based on the same principals. They are all related to the same philosophy on life and living. So why separate them? Because, honestly, I am afraid of offending people. There, I said it. I am concerned that my views on life are possibly too radical and therefore might create discomfort in others. While that is not my intention, I am called the “agitating molecule” by my friends, which is a reference to me liking to push people to think about things they might not have otherwise.

So, if I label each blog clearly, that allows for each person to know what they might be about to read or see. That said, I am wondering if it is just a cop out on my end. I truly believe in integrating all one’s beliefs into the life that they choose to lead, myself included. That is where the term integrity comes from. I shouldn’t have one philosophy for one situation and a completely different philosophy applied to another. I believe that I should be consistent in my words and deeds no matter what or with whom I am dealing with.

So with that said, I am truly interested in your thoughts about this topic. Is it appropriate to separate these different issues? Do you feel fully integrated in your beliefs, actions, and words? What would you like to do, think about, and read more of? As I find more time in my life to write again, I find myself full or more questions than answers. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this topic, and as always, in true agitating molecule style, hope that this has made you think.

Peace, Mimi

My good friend and teacher, Beryl Bender Birch, turned 70 this October. Happy Birthday Beryl! Her long-time friend and assistant, Lori, sent out a request for stories about Beryl for a birthday book she is making. I have many stories but this is my favorite. It is something that sounds in my head frequently when I get distracted by what other people are doing.

I met Beryl for the first time in 1999. She was teaching a workshop with her husband, Tom, on the Harvard Campus. There was probably 70 of us practicing in a big chapel. I had been teaching for over a year and was, therefore, quite an expert. I couldn’t help but notice all the people who were doing things wrong. Tom and Beryl couldn’t possibly get to all of them so, during the break, I went to speak to Beryl.

“Hi, my name is Mimi. It is so nice to meet you. I noticed that a lot of people look like they could use some help. I would be happy to help adjust instead of practice for the second half.”

Beryl looked me up and down then said, compassionately, “Mimi, thanks but, I think you need to get back on your mat.” I got back on my mat quite humbled yet a bit indignant. Did I not mention that I was an expert???

Years later, I have had the absolute honor and pleasure to teach and adjust alongside Beryl. Ironically, now that I had the chance to “help”, all I wanted to do was get on my mat and soak up what I could of Beryl’s wisdom. Five years ago, I was introducing Beryl to an eager group of Somerville yogis and yoginis. During my introduction, I told this story of the first time we met. She looked at me aghast and said, “That was you?! I have been telling that story for years!” We had a good laugh.

So, Beryl, I have learned so much from you over the years and often quote you or refer to your teachings. When I describe you to people who haven’t met you, I often say that you are the real deal. You are a real yogi; not perfect, yet always humble, thoughtful, and consistent with what you believe to be true and right, right-action, as you would say. I am eternally grateful and quite lucky to have had you in my life. I look forward to many more chances to learn and apply your teachings.

With eternal gratitude and love, Mimi “Get on your mat” Loureiro

Unlimited Energy

I am not one to ask for help. In the past, when we, my family and I, have opened other businesses, I didn’t need to ask (okay, I probably should have then but now, I am so much more enlightened) but this is entirely different. When I was in my twenties, I was attacked and almost killed by a stranger. Along with the obvious discoveries that are made after an event like that, I discovered that I actually had a limited amount of energy (this was a revelation as up until then I believed it to be bottomless). The experience depleted me for a long time and I recognized how much time and energy I had wasted on people, ideas, and things that were truly unimportant. I needed to not only ration what I gave out but I had to ask for help with the simplest of things. It was both humbling and enlightening. I couldn’t waste my energy. I needed to keep my focus on what was truly important in that moment. I am in a much happier situation now, but the experience is similar in the sense that I am truly depleted by all that is going on. Even good stuff can take it out of you! Even though it is good, it is difficult. We as a family are truly giving this venture all that we have, financially, energetically, and emotionally. We have had many conversations regarding this. Should we do this? Is this what we want? And the answer has been a resounding yes. That said, I have had to ask for help with so many things and you know what? It feels great.

The Needy Incompetent Person in my Head

When I imagine asking for help, the image of the needy incompetent me comes to mind. I have to fight that urge to say, “no, I can do this by myself.”. The truth is, no one can really do it all on their own. Rather than being put out by being asked, people have said that it makes them feel special, included, important, and recognized. They feel more part of this project and therefore have a sense of ownership and pride. This is not just my studio but theirs too.

Downsides

Another down side of doing it all myself is that I am then, perennially, expected to do it BY myself.
I don’t want to be the only person responsible. I want other people to not only feel capable, but BE capable. Besides, this is way bigger than anything I have ever done. It almost feels like a living being; organic, expanding and hungry! (Hope it likes vegan food.) No way I could do this alone even if I wanted to.

Cost/Benefit

We all don’t need help with the same things but we all need help with something. Back when I was so depleted, I remember thinking I needed to be careful how I spend my energy because it is not endless. Now, when I contemplate how much energy I have for a particular project/person, I ask myself, will there be enough left for the project/people who I love? If no is the answer, then I don’t take it on. My family is my number one priority. If I don’t have enough for them then I am doing something very wrong.

Disclaimer

Disclaimer: While reading back this post, I realize that I am not actually asking for help but accepting it when it is offered. I guess I am still a work in progress and still someone who hates asking for anything. That said, I will at least promise to accept all help that is offered if needed. How do I know whether it is needed? Usually, because Karen or Steven tells me. Karen asks folks for help and I say, yes please. Steven tells me all of the things that I need to focus on and all of the things that I don’t. (Ode to Karen and Steven will follow.) Suffice it to say that I have two very strong, loving and talented people who have my back and have unsurpassed talents, patience and energy. I am realizing, as I write, that even though depleted of energy, I am filled with hope and gratitude.